"Darcy look, I'm sorry ok? I know I screwed up." Darcy glared at his dad. "Fucked up are the words I would use." He growled. Darcy had his hands clenched into fists at his sides while his body tensed. He looked like he was about to punch his dad out in the middle of the court hallway along with anyone who got in the way. "Ten years dad, ten fucking years and you couldn't once drop by and say 'hi', couldn't even send a single letter, hell! Even a damn paycheck coulda helped a whole fucking lot! Gee dad, sorry for not feeling the father-son bond!" Darcy looked ready to pop a vein, if there was one thing Darcy was known for, it was his temper. "Darcy,please, lower your voice." his father pleaded. He sighed and Darcy noticed it was the same sigh Jude sighed when he and his mother got into an argument. The sigh that sounded like he was about to give up, tired and stressed. Darcy forced himself to calm down, to listen because if he made any rash decisions while angry, it'll come bite his ass later on, that will affect Jude as much as it affected him.
"Alright," Dacy rubbed his temple, fighting the headache that was threatening to overtake him. "all I want to know is why. Why dad, why did you leave us with her?" Darcy looked at his father with pleading eyes. He was tired. He had to work over time the night before only to come back to find out Jude still awake watching television. When he asked if he’d eaten yet, the reply was no. When he asked why, Jude had responded that their mother had eaten all the food Darcy had left specifically for Jude. So at 3 in the morning, Darcy made his brother a light dinner and sent him to bed. After that, Darcy took a shower and when he finally did go to bed it was ten 'till five in the morning. Darcy was tired, not just sleepy, but tired of jumping all those obstacles that life decided to throw at him. Taking care of Jude since their dad left, Jude had only been three while Darcy was seven, and trying to raise him right since their mother couldn't do any of that herself, had taken a toll on him. She went to parties, had one night stands, and even left home for a solid week once when Darcy was thirteen. Darcy didn't have the "Golden Childhood", he didn't have birthdays celebrated, didnt have both parents, didn't have anyone that went to his elementary graduation, didn't have anyone who chanted his name in the stands while he hit a home run baseball, nor did he have a white picket fence with a two story house, shutters painted white,with a nice car in the driveway. What he did have was a drug addicted mother, a trailer as a home with yellow grass in front, a younger brother who acts like an adult, and a father who abandoned them ten years ago who appeared out of no where and decided to fight for child custody.
Darcy sighed again,closed his eyes, then turned and sat down on a nearby bench. Darcy's father followed him with his eyes and stood uncomfortably in the middle of the hallway, shifting foot-to-foot trying to collect his thoughts. He abandoned his sons when he was nineteen years old to find something better. Better than living with someone who argued with him everyday because he didn't bring enough money to support two kids and her drug addiction. He loved his sons, he truly did. On the day he left he swore he would come back for them, find them and take them away when he found a job that would support all three of them and have left over money so they could enjoy and buy all the things they ever wanted, to live the life that was really meant for them. Over the years, it became difficult to find them due to their mother trying to hide from him. If she couldn't live a good life, then apparently they couldn't either. Matt sighed and sat down next to Darcy. Darcy looked like he would fall asleep any minute, dark bags under his eyes and sluggish movements. His eyes came and went out of focus,his shoulders slumped in defeat. "Why is life so difficult?" Darcy asked to no one in particular. He rested his elbows on his knees and ran a hand through his hair. Matt sighed and responded, "Life isn't difficult, we just trip up sometimes." Darcy turned to look at him like he just noticed him sitting there. His shoulders dropped but then just slumped as if too tired to keep fighting and fueling the anger he had shown earlier.
Matt let his head fall back against the wall in a soft thump and tilted his head to look at his son. He raised a brow and smirked "Nice hair you got there, looks like it came from thriller or something." Darcy looked confused before he gave his father an unamused look. The kid had half of his head shaven and the other half of his head had hair long enough to reach the back of his neck. It looked like it was cut in layers and Mark's mind, it looked ridiculous."What happened? Asked a pirate with an eye-patch for a shave and this was the outcome?" Darcy gave him a flat look. "Shut up dad," he mumbled while beginning to scowl at the plant near the courtroom entrance.Matt noticed that Darcy did that a lot,scowl and glare at things and people. "You're going to be the world's wrinkliest old man if you keep glaring at things like they killed your puppy." Darcy gave him another flat look like if Matt where an idiot. "You still haven't answered why."
Darcy said with a tired resignation. Matt sighed "I left because I was unhappy. Not because of you and your brother, but because of her. Her and her addiction.I didn't have enough money to support either of you, and if I stayed any longer I...I would've snapped. I would have lashed out at your mother or at you or your brother and I couldn't stand that. I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting you two. So I left. I know, that's no excuse and maybe nothing in the world can fix what I've done but please, Darcy, please, I am not anything like your mother. You have to believe me." Matt looked at Darcy through regret filled eyes, eyes that showed himself to be true to his words. Darcy knew that his dad wasn't anything like his mom. He was seven when he left so he had memories of him. When his dad had bought him a bike and taught him how to ride it, how afterwards he took him out for ice cream as a reward. Then a week later it went missing and he cried into his dad's shoulder while he put a hand on his back speaking soft words of reassurance and how he'd get him a new one. Later on, he heard mom and dad fighting about it. Apparently, she took it and pawned it for money which she used for her addiction.
So yes, Darcy knew his dad was nothing like his mother but that didn't stop the bitterness from flowing. He left them and they had to suffer for it. For months after he left, Darcy had to hide from his mom's sight or else she would lock him in the closet because according to her, he resembled his father too much. Darcy covered his face with his hands and sighed for what felt the millionth time. "Excuse me," a security gaurd said, "the court is ready." Darcy and Matt looked at each other with tired expressions, got up from their seats, and headed inside.
~
The fight for custody had been brutal. Accusations flying across the room and voices raising each time. At one point it looked like Matt was about to punch Helen for accusing him of starting her addiction when they were teens. It was mostly back and forth, He left them, she was insufferable, he never paid child support, how was he supposed to pay if she decided to hide them for the past ten years. Pus, they weren't even legally married. At times, it seemed that the court changed sides every time one of them spoke. Darcy and Jude were asked multiple questions about both parents. Darcy questioned more than Jude because he actually remembered his father before he left.
“Did your father really leave for ten years?”
“Yes sir.”
“Did your father really start your mother’s addiction?”
Darcy wanted to snort in amusement at the question. He wasn’t even alive when that happened. Ever since he could remember, his mom was snorting crack and getting high or just passed out drunk.
“I don’t know sir.”
“Did your father ever call or send money to you or your brother?”
Darcy glared at his father from across the room and put as much venom as he could in his response.
“No.”
“Is your mother child neglectant?”
Are you kidding me?!?! Darcy wanted to scream. Could the judge not see that their mother was an alcoholic drug addict that used all the money she had for drugs? Darcy bit back his retorts and replied “Yes.”
At that, Helen screamed in rage.
“He’s an ungrateful delinquent! He’s always smoking pot and failing his classes! He stays out late every night coming home at three in the morning! I may have done mistakes in my life but at least I gave him a roof over his head! I’m surprised that Jude hasn’t become a delinquent himself!” At that, all the rage that Darcy had previously fought off suddenly came back to him in crashing waves.
“I’m a delinquent? Are you seriously playing that card? If I hadn't started working when I did we would’ve been on the streets! Who pays your bills huh? Well i’ll give you a hint; not fucking santa clause!” Darcy was standing now, glaring at his mother with such intensity that he was sure the pits of hell could feel the rage. The judge called for order and seemed to reach a verdict.
"I have reached my decision. Based on the evidence and what i've seen in this courtroom, Darcy and Jude Mofrett will fall under total custody of their father, Matthew Whelan. Ms. Helen Mofrett shall be taken to a alcoholic and drug rehabilitation center while being charged with child neglect and illegal possession of drugs."
He hammer slammed and Matt let out a relieved breath. A small victory to get his kids back. To fix the mistakes he made all those years ago. Another chance.
Darcy sighed and felt relieved in a way. He was finally away from his mother. Away from that stupid trailer that was never really his home, away from that neighborhood that demanded him to fight everyday. Fight for the money in his pockets and fight for Jude who was an easy target.
Once he got stabbed in the hip by one of the local gang members while he was walking home.Darcy didn’t feel the pain until he knocked the guy out and saw there was a bloody knife. When he looked at his hip, some of his shirt was stained with crimson blood as well as a bit of his pants. When he finally got got, Helen had yelled at him for getting stabbed. All she did to help was give him a disinfectant bottle, a needle, some thread and told him where the clothes iron was. After he had cleaned the blood off with water, his mother came back in and gave him a full bottle of strong whiskey. when she left, Darcy stared at the bottle of whiskey in a bit of confusement. She never let them touch her alcohol, nor did she like the idea of sharing a bottle of the good whiskey.
Later on while he was mending himself did he find out that he did need the whiskey. The pain from the heat of the iron,the disinfectant, and the stitching almost made him ass out a couple times.By the time Jude got home from school, Dacy had gotten rid of all the blood and the bottle of whiskey. Jude had found Darcy passed out in their room and smelling like mom’s strong whiskey. He didn’t ask why he found him the way he did and Darcy was grateful for it. Why worry Jude over things that could be fixed?
Darcy was finally away from all that. He could start over, not completely but he had hope that he would finally be able to give Jude a better life than the one they were living.
~
Darcy held his cig in his hand between two fingers and looked out to the sunset. He parked the truck on a grassy hill that overlooked the plains and rolling hills farther down. The sun set a golden red glow to the grass and mountains but somehow kept a bit of their bright green. The cool breeze that rolled from the clouds contrasted with the warmth of the fiery orange sun. Darcy smiled at the magnificent view beyond him.
~
Darcy stayed at his fathers house with Jude for two years until they forced him to leave. His father kept trying to take care of him and they both knew that was impossible.Darcy had fought his own battles for far too long to let someone take over and Jude sadly noticed this about his brother So after a year and a half of watching Darcy struggle with this change, Jude and his father told him to leave. Matt wouldn’t leave Jude, not again and Jude wanted his brother to be happy. They both figured that the only way Darcy would ever be happy was to cut him loose.
So after a while of pressure from both Jude and Mat, Darcy left. The night Darcy left, Jude told him that he wouldn’t be leaving him as long as he came back to visit often and sent him letters with the occasional pictures. Matt said that they would wait right here, in that two story house painted white with green grass.He would never take Jude away from him. Not after so much they went through together.
Darcy was reluctant at first. How could he leave his brother so he could find something ‘better’? That was repeating his father's mistake and he wasn’t going to do that to Jude again.
When he told Jude this, Jude simply smiled a sad smile and said “ Darcy,the only one living in the past is you. I moved forward and so had dad so you have to move forward too. You don’t have to protect me anymore Darcy, you can be happy now.” It took a while for Darcy to accept it, but he finally did.
His dad gave him an old pick up, it was a stick shift but Darcy didn’t care, he loved it. It took a while for him to figure it out and a whole lot of patience but when he finally got the hang of it, he drove out to the plains and stayed there for hours on end. He never told Matt how much he loved the vehicle but he was pretty sure Matt got the message when Darcy didn’t know how to thank him. It was the only materialized thing he accepted from his father, everything else Darcy had bought with his own money. His brother had given him a small box full of notebooks, pens, envelopes, stamps and even an old camera. “Now you don't have an excuse to not write or send pictures to me.” Jude said when Darcy was packing a duffle bag full of his clothes. Aside from that, Darcy didn’t carry much with him. Some cash for gas and food and a road map. He went wherever he felt like going and did odd jobs for money when he was running low. He didn’t mind this type of life, he actually enjoyed it. If he wanted to chase the sun, then he chased the sun. If he wanted to sleep out on warm nights when the stars were bright, then he threw his duffel bag in the bed of the pick up and slept there.
He wrote letters to Jude and his dad and sent a lot of pictures. Pictures of mountains, landmarks, people,anything he found interesting. Despite enjoying his new life, he felt lonely. Because he felt lonely, he got Buck.
Buck was an Irish Wolf Hound puppy that didn’t look like a puppy at all. He was a huge ball of grey wired fur who liked to spend the day sleeping. A farmer was giving him away along with several of his brothers and sisters at one point, but now it was just him. Darcy was lonely and so was the pup so he thought ‘Why the hell not?’ After that, he and Buck road to wherever they felt like going. They preferred country roads and tried to stay away from big cities. The slept out under stars and followed the sweet scent of life.
Darcy had time now. Time to enjoy everything the good aspects of life and finally ignore the bad. Although he had time to enjoy everything now, everything he ignored when he was a teenager came back to bite him in the ass. He never decided what college he wanted to attend, never sent in applications, didn’t think of what he wanted to do for a career, never went to a dance, didn’t go to prom, hell, he never even went on a date before. Now that he thought about it, he never really thought about what gender he preferred. Well, he thought to himself doesn’t matter now anyway. I got all the time in the world.
~
Darcy took a drag from his cig and stared down at the plains. The wind carried the scent of sweet grass and other scents he couldn’t describe other than fresh and nature. He exhaled the smoke and Buck barked from behind him. He turned and saw that Buck was pawing at the passenger door. “ready to go buddy?” Darcy asked as he made his way to open the door so the anxious hound could get inside. As Darcy made his way to the drivers seat, he put out his cig and took a picture of the sunset wit the camera Jude had given him. He climbed in behind the wheel and Buck gave a happy bark while wagging his tail. Buck was still a puppy but he was getting big enough that he was going to have to start riding in the back soon. Darcy doubted that the hound would mind much anyway.
Darcy took out a pen and notebook while muttering to Buck about getting the pictures developed or else Jude would have a cow. Buck pawed at the keys in the ignition impatiently and gave Darcy a look that could only be described as ‘Leave. Now.’ Darcy pet the hound’s head, “Hold up man, I gotta write this letter and send it tomorrow so it can get there on Jude's birthday.” The dog huffed and rested his head on Darcy’s lap having decided that taking a nap would be a good idea.
With a pen in his right hand and notebook resting on the steering wheel, Darcy took one last look at the sunset and breathed in the smell of sweet grass drifting in from the open windows.
“Dear Jude and Dad,
There’s a lot i gotta tell you guys.”
Darcy stared at the piece of writing before crumpling it up and lighting another cigarette. “Think we can make it back in time?” Darcy asked as he took a drag. Buck woofed and softly wagged his tail against the seats. “Yeah, i think so too.” He put the car in reverse and wheeled away from the small hill overlooking the plains. Darcy smiled as he thought of the surprised look Jude and his dad would give him when he arrived home unexpectedly.
| Google Drive: create, share, and keep all your stuff in one place. |  |
