Kenya Lockett

Pressure

Right now I'm in a place i don't want to be, and it's very uncomfortable. It feels like a wet mop is being wiped across my neck and hands are roming in the most inappropiate places. It's like i'm being forced, but not really because no one's making me do any thing; i'm allowing it to happen. I want it to stop because it has went way to far. But I can't bring my self to let the words out. I'm afraid if i say stop, he's going to think i'm a loser and afraid.(though he would be right). He's going to say i should feel lucky. I mean he is Tay Fines, senior and the finest boy in my school, and he's with me of all other girls. May be i should feel lucky. Then i wonder how did i get here. I mean, I don't know what's wrong with me. Lately i've been making the wrong choices, hanging with the wrong crowd, and doing things i don't usually do. And now i'm on my couch in the dark with a boy, who i don't even feel comfortable with. Before I moved and transferd, to Drake Field high, i would have never been in this situation. At least not with a boy this possessive. I guess i wanted to be with that INSIDE CROWD. For once i wasn't noticed as the smart shy girl. I was a cool person and had to behave like one. Even if it meant cutting class, smoking, and making out with boys. I was dumb, stupid, i was pressured. I let being with that INSIDE CROWD, pressure me.