Thursday, January 18, 2007

Ashley Barber
When He Left
He said we will be together forever. A before I knew it he was set to leave me. He said he was moving away and it will help him start all over but not a relationship just for him to get his head straight. I understood were he was coming from but it hurt to see him leave. We spent our last three weeks with each other doing couple like things. We enjoyed our time together and treasured it. Our relationship was envied by many people. A lot of boys wanted me and a lot of females wanted him. We both know were home is and how nothing can come between us no matter what. Everything was good until our last three days together. If it wasn’t for our love being so strong we probably wouldn’t have ended with tears and whys. The first day until he was to leave I was seriously wounded from an accident at my friend house. I decided to see my baby since it was the last three days until my future husband was going to leave me. We were kicking it and he and some of his friends decided to drink. I don’t like the way he acts when he drinks so I decide to leave. As I was getting far from his house he quickly followed me and lured me back to his house. His play sister wanted me to go with her somewhere. Out of his drunkenness he didn’t want me to go so he pushed me. Then he went off into the house and then it happened. His sister tells me a girl is in the house for Tonya and she mess around with him. Me not thinking out of anger when I know we be together to much for anyone talking to him. So I went into his house and my friend bagged me not to say anything me being me I did. So I told all of his friends to leave for a minute and told him to get my things. As he reached to get it he said what for and then it was on. We begin to argue and fight. He said some hurtful things and I begin to cry. He never wanted to see me cry so he began to talk it out and we made up as he walked me home. Then the next day night he was throwing a party on the second day to last day for his leaving. I went to his party and so did some of my friends. Everything was going smooth until my friend told me that he was outside talking to some girl. I didn’t really care but was jealous at the same time. So happens someone calls my friend phone and I get the talking to him. My boyfriends see me from the window and came and took the phone out of my hand. I don’t know what the boy on the phone told him. But my baby said we were through and I began to cry. An the next day he left.

9 comments:

mrwinfreysenglishclasses said...

it was good and alittle sad at the same time to. you have just a few errors but its cool.

mrwinfreysenglishclasses said...

Delisa Edwards

I think you are a great story teller. However, when done with your essay you should have someone read and look over it. You had some grammer mistakes. Overall, it was a good paper

mrwinfreysenglishclasses said...

The essay is okay, in some of the sentenctes you speak like you talk, which is not bad but you have to use a different approach when your writing a first person narrative. Other than a few grammatical mistakes the blog was excellent.

Krystal Durr

mrwinfreysenglishclasses said...

By: Jennifer Buchanan

I can say that this essay alright because there were a few grammar errors. I think the best thing that you can do is work on your grammar. It seems as if you knew what you wanted to say, but it just came out incorrectly. My advice to you is to justpay close attention to things you say because the reader at times can become somewhat confused.While reading you essay I could also tell that you are easily hurt. My advice to you is to not let these men out here get the best of you because you are beautiful. There are many men out there who would like a good woman. I can tell that you are a good woman. Don't let these men bring you down, they are good for it if you let them.

mrwinfreysenglishclasses said...

Sarina Glover

I thought it was nice. It shows that she really emotional and that she don't want some one who is really important to her to leave.

mrwinfreysenglishclasses said...

Shiquita Davis
This essay was okay you had a couple of mistake. I think you should of read this before you post it, but it was nice.

mrwinfreysenglishclasses said...

Sharocka Malone
I Think your story would have been better if you would have did it on something else in not on a boy when he left you cause people hear this type of story everyday you got to write a story that readers will like to read it over in over again but your story was nice

mrwinfreysenglishclasses said...

Sheena JOhnson

I like youe essay it was very interesting.

I like how you had a beginning, midle and end.

But what I didn't like is that you had missed spelled words, incomplete sentences and etc.

mrwinfreysenglishclasses said...

By Kenneth Anderson

I think that your brief story was great, but you did have some spelling errors that can be easily corrected if you were to just go back and make the effort to correct them.

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