tatiana short story

Tatiana S. Donovan

Period 1

Short Story

Suffering Beautifully

She stood heavy set on the ceramic gymnasium tiled floor, staring at her black high top converse as the girls whom worn the typical Mary Jane shoes scoffed at her. Afraid to look up, afraid to face the harsh reality which lied ahead. The scoffs and cruel comments her class would make, as they lived their lives in black and white as she lived hers in color. Afraid to look into the eyes of whom hated her, who made her feel like a frog among swans. "I'd rather be anything but ordinary", was her motto .She was always the girl at lunch who sat alone at lunch, who always got picked last in gym, who'd wander thee school playground by herself kicking stones or anything that dared get in her way. She was known as "the weird girl" who had no friends. Which she was fine with and used to as the years went on. She was independent and would rather have to count on herself than fake friends who didn't like her and she herself, didn't like. For five years, she continued to remind herself that she was going to be out of that hell hole of a school sooner or later and that she just had to stick through it. That hell hole of a school reminded children to be themselves but was yet too fragile to accept them for what made them beautiful. She was an escapist. People have different ways of escaping the harsh reality this world happens to bring upon them. Her escape was food. She would eat her problems away as if the food she consumed were her problems and the only way of making them disappear was by eating them. She knew she had a problem but wasn't ready to change it just yet. She always told herself "When I'm ready I'll prove them wrong." She was constantly gossiped about and made fun of for her clothes, eccentricity, and especially her weigh, which she was most sensitive about. She had a beautiful mother who made heads turn in every room she set foot in. If looks could kill, those who laid eyes upon her mother would've died a thousand times. She envied her mother and the attention she'd get. She felt as if she was invisible whenever they were together. She would sometimes even question her own existence. She knew she was beautiful but just covered. The kids in her class would were bewildered to see a fat girl with a thin beautiful mother. As the years passed, the crueler the comments grew towards her. The children would say things about her mother and her, assuming she was adopted because she didn't even look related to her mother, the woman who gave her life, whose blood flows through her veins. She was alone. Not that she minded being alone, she just hated feeling alone. At age thirteen, when she graduated the eighth grade, she finally realized the damage her escaping had done to her body. As she looked down at the scale reading the digits of her weight, which was 185 lbs. She was obese. She was ready to do something about it. She took baby steps toward her goal, she used to drink three bottles of Powerade every day and switched it to water. Within a month, she lost 10 lbs just from not drinking Powerade. She then started dieting and exercising which she was surprised to find out that working out was actually a stress reliever for her. It took her 7 months to do it, but she did. By the time she was fourteen years old she lost 70 lbs. She not only proved those who doubted her wrong, but herself as well. She didn't lose weight to win over the approval of others, but to win over her own. Which will and will always be the most important approval of them all. She lost over 70 lbs because she was tired of being someone she knew she wasn't. She felt as if she was wearing a mask and no one was able to see past her disguise, herself included. She never thought she'd be able to lose so much weight, yet alone look the way she does now. The thinnest she thought she'd ever be able to be was a size 10 and she continues to surprise herself. She went from being a size 16, to a size 3.She grew tired from always having to look at the bottom pile of clothes which stood before her, taunting her. Having to to leave the store empty handed because nothing seemed to fit her. She was tired of having to shop at maternity stores to look for jeans. She made a promise to herself, and that was to never allow herself to get the way she was before. She worked way too hard to let that happen again. Which is why maintain a healthy diet and exercising is essential for her. She takes pride for the weight she's lost and her physical appearance. Most people are surprised when they hear about her past. Especially with how well she takes care of herself. But she even had to admit that it was very hard to share her story of the painful melancholy childhood she had, but she believes that what doesn't kills us, makes us. She also hopes to be an inspiration, she was her own inspiration. She still is, and takes pride in it. She continues to surprise herself till this very day, her mother spoke to a modeling agency who said they'd like to interview her after her mother emailed pictures of her to them. She's always been very photogenic and is often referred to as an exotic beauty. She thinks she has a very good shot at pursuing a modeling career. She never even thought she'd be able to have the opportunity to speak to a modeling, but she did. Losing weight changed her life and she thanks God every day for finally being able to look up at the sun and smile. She had a little rebel in her, a little chaos and a little gentleness. She didn't say much , she would doze off and dream away., dream with the stars and that was ok. She had a little fight in her and everytime she built enough couage her voice would echo through the sky. She wasn't complete, but she has enough.  There was a science to her genius, her audience, her beauy, and there was nothing she could'nt accomplish. She was unstoppable and everthing she ever wanted she took, with nothig on but a smile. That girl was me.