Describe what hell looks like.
It’s a beige building, with two parking lots. There’s a basketball rim in one of the parking lots. That’s where little demons play and older demons settle scores. There’s a field of grass where all music has been stopped because there is no more band in hell. Inside the building there are a lot of rooms and the demons in charge are called by their last names.
The halls are full of lost angel’s. They search these halls for trouble and they soon find what they’re looking for. That’s when you have wars between goblins, goons, lames, dummies, Crash Town, Mad Ville, Chocolate City and other gangs of people who don’t care about their future.
Those lost angel’s could make it through hell and see the light, if it wasn’t so dark in hell. This hell is sometimes too hot but most times really cold.
The students, I mean, lost angel’s have four years to make up their minds in what they would like to do for the rest of eternity. For most it takes longer for them to realize but for some four years is all they would ever need in hell. So they do what they most to get out of Harper, I mean, hell.
When the lost angels do get to their last two years they are put through many tests. One particular test is given in their third year. That test gives other places a knowing of how much the angel has learned in hell.
In they’re last year the devil herself gives the senior angels a gift of freedom, which is called their diplomas!
1 comment:
I was so impressed with the content and tone of this essay that i wanted to overlook your mistakes.... but i can't. I know who this is and i like it. You really have a gift for the written word. here is a mark up of your essay with your mistakes.
Describe what hell looks like.
It’s a beige building, with two parking lots. There’s a basketball rim in one of the parking lots. That’s where little demons play and older demons settle scores. There’s a field of grass where all music has been stopped because there is no more band in hell. Inside the building there are a lot of rooms and the demons in charge are called by their last names.
The halls are full of lost ANGELS. They search these halls for trouble and they soon find what they’re looking for. That’s when you have wars between goblins, goons, lames, dummies, Crash Town, Mad Ville, Chocolate City( , ) and other gangs of people who don’t care about their future.
Those lost ANGELS could make it through hell and see the light, if it wasn’t so dark in hell. This hell is sometimes too hot but most times really cold.
The students, I mean, lost ANGELS have four years to make up their minds in what they would like to do for the rest of eternity. For most it takes longer for them to realize ( , ) but for some four years is all they would ever need in hell. So they do what they most to get out of Harper, I mean, hell.
When the lost angels do get to their last two years they are put through many tests. One particular test is given in their third year. That test gives other places a knowing of how much the angel has learned in hell.
In THEIR last year the devil herself gives the senior angels a gift of freedom, which is called their diplomas!
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