Jordan Ramirez; Casper

Jordan Ramirez
Casper; Monologue
You said your heads gotten so heavy that your neck hurts; it's getting harder to keep your head up. And you don't know how to fix it. How do you lose weight from a head that was never so big in the first place? The opposite actually, a head that was so small figuratively because the person holding it had barely anything they felt they could be proud of? What do you do? Do you shave the achievements off until there's nothing left, until you're left for dead? And when you're left for dead, whats it like? I had a friend and that friend was you and you told me it felt like a train was crashing into your body that wouldn't stop and it kept pounding into you until you were bloody and bruised on the inside, so you couldn't explain why you were so sad because the bruises couldnt show so you had to be happy right because you didn't need a band aid on the outside only people who do need bandages can be sad right? You told me it felt like defeat because you didnt
care and you couldn't punctuate sentences anymore because whats the point when you can't even decide what emotion you're feeling. You told me it was when you stopped arguing with yourself and the world because what's the point when the hate keeps coming. You told me it felt like sadness was keeping your head angled towards the ground and that felt like a battle lost. Your heavy head never lifted to meet my eyes when i asked if you were okay and you explained with the shuffling of your feet that marched into battle and made it out alive even though it felt like defeat. You told me you weren't but you never told me this. You sealed it in a letter, it's carrier being the words "I don't know." How do you raise a head burdened by sadness? You don't fill it with air, it might weigh it down with insecurity and doubts and pity. You look them in the eye, Casper, as I looked into yours and you tell them what I told you, "The war was lost. Wounds were torn into
skin and burns were marked into minds but at least you're alive. "
And, Casper, that victory outweighs your eyes staring at your feet, you are here and you can forget the battle field inside your mind because i want you to rebuild it because you deserve so much better than war.