Africa Hill - Period 8

Dear Whoever This May Concern,

I don’t know what “genius” suggested this, but this is a pathetic excuse of an idea and a waste of my time. Look, I’m not too keen on the thought of writing out my “feelings” and “emotions” in some stupid journal, only for it to be read by some hypocritical, narrow minded, jack ass. I got enough of that in highschool and I’m almost a hundred percent positive that this will be no better. So, yeah, I know what you’re thinking. “If it’s such a stupid idea, then why the hell are you writing?” Well, as idiotic as this may sound, a little birdy made me realize that I have absolutely nothing to lose. I lost it all when they starting making speculations about everything I did. The tattoo’s I got, the way I dressed, who I hung out with. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if they had something to say about what cereal I decided to eat in the morning. You see, things started going downhill when people began to make assumptions. They never give me a chance to clarify myself, but then again how could they? Majority of the time they couldn’t even clarify themselves. They “just knew”….ya know? I’ll admit, I haven’t done enough things in life to be proud of, but at least I can say that this wasn’t entirely my fault….

“We should go…” I mumbled uncomfortably, peering over my shoulder. People were staring. Not just one, or two, but all. Fear and disgust lingered behind their eyes and for once I didn’t want to wrap my mind around the meanings behind their whispers.

“I just need a few more things and we can leave. I promise.” My sister was an oblivion; and with an oblivion came optimism. Her cluelessness made me groan, but I didn’t press the situation any further. She deserved to enjoy her life, even if that meant putting me through hell for a half an hour. We were in our local grocery store, which is probably the only store people in this town went to, and maybe I should have known that my presence was going to cause an uproar. After all, I was now considered the spawn of Satan and a complete toxin to the universe. “Did Mom say she wanted 2% milk, or skim? I can’t remember.”

“2%-” I whispered just as someones shoulder collided with mine. I’m guessing he wanted me to make a fool out of myself and lose my balance, but I didn’t.

“Watch where you’re going, dirtbag.” The words that came out of his mouth made me grit my teeth and caused the irritation in my blood to boil, But, Joshua Thomas was the mayors son and my ex girlfriend's brother. I couldn’t just shove him back. Instead, I turned to my sister whose eyes were wider than ever.

“Jessica, lets go.” This time it was an order, not a suggestion. She nodded and put the milk in the cart with shaky hands, forgetting about the remainder of the items on the list. I couldn’t even go out for an hour without being harassed, yet I’m still the animal in this case--Right?

“Oh, come on Rodgers. You don’t have anything to say?” He shouted, capturing my attention. “ How does it feel  knowing that the whole town hates you? That’s you’re a worthless piece of garbage?”

“Screw off.” I fumed. “You don’t know anything.” And it was the truth--he didn’t know anything. But it was her word against mine, and at this point no one gave a damn about what I had to say.

“I know you put your hands on my sister and you should be behind bars right now. That’s what I know.” Before I knew it, he was shoving me again...and again...and again, until I finally pushed back. It didn’t take long before everything escalated and his fist collided with my jaw, causing my back to collide with the glass door of the freezer. I wouldn’t have touched him before, but he laid his hands on me and at this point anything I did would be considered self defense. So I grabbed his shirt, despite my sisters pleas, and shoved him against one of the shelves.

“You and I both know that’s a lie, but here’s the truth--I’ll see you in hell, Thomas.” Letting go of his shirt, I ignored the taste of blood in my mouth and walked out the store in order to catch my breath. Being somewhere I wasn’t wanted felt like someone was holding a pillow over my face, and at this point I was suffocating. So, I slid down the wall of Old Jim’s Grocery store and began to cry. Not because I was weak, but because everyone was so full of ignorance. All but one.

Rushing out of the automatic doors empty handed, her ombre hair flew all over the place and her eyes landed on me. Despite all the havoc I had caused, the meaning behind her eyes hadn’t changed once.

“Oh, Ash.” She breathed, taking a seat next to me. It didn’t long before her arms wrapped around my broad shoulders, fingers running through my tangled hair.

“I-I didn’t do it, Jess.” I hiccuped. “Y-you gotta believe that I-”

“Shh,” Pulling me closer, she kissed my forehead softly. “I know who you are, Ashton. If only everyone else could see what I can...”

But they can’t and they never will.  So, I could sit here and blame it on bad luck, or try to come up with something to say to persuade you to be on my side, but I won’t. Only because I opened this book to write out my “feelings”, to spill my thoughts  to someone besides my sister. And even if I did tell you the truth... you wouldn’t believe me anyways...

Until next time (if there is one),

- A.R.